honestly i have been spending my last 5 years waiting for nothing hoping for something that i wont ever have i have been the most idiotic fool of a person can be now i have realized, i wasted those years expecting something that is not meant to be with me today i change my perspective, my time is running out now i can not waste another year for nothing not for the same person not for the same stupid feeling and for those happiness that actually never existed i should regain my strength and move forward. 

why do you always think about other people when they dont even remember your presence and why do you still love the same person when he even doesnt remember you ever existed God why do you give me this kind of feeling when all I want is just peace in my life will I be this miserable for the rest of my life longing for something i dont own loving for someone i dont get loved please dont let me suffer for the rest of my life, God I think I cant bear this any longer I promise I try harder and better please help me