yaa it is a must but sometimes i just need someone to rely on, someone to support, or at least say that i can do this and can go through all of this. everything feels so complicated right now. folks are facing some problems too. so i cant let them know my sorrow or my anxiety . yet it is so tiring to face it by myself thou and I still have to be oke wherever I am, show my  good spirit and performance at the office also haha. how can i be more stronger?

the pain is here it hurts but it will stop. time heals,  always. so hang on there it hurts but it is okay.

think i fall for him. but we met at the wrong time. know that I cant be his , vice versa yet he is the only one who can hold my hands now i know there will be time that I should let him go and the pain is already here, when we already knew but we pretend to be fine. it hurts but you can always leave with your own left me, the one who will survive more so let's stop holding my hands and just walk on our own paths just stop. Nanti Kita Cerita Tentang Hari Ini -  Marchella FP

hai, it's me, back again. after a long time.  id been through a lot bad times: struggling with my ielts score and my heart broken.  anyway im writing this after just finished a plate full of shrimps, pete, and rice. haha. i am so full right now and a bit dizzy.  before i just did a practice test of ielts listening. just let you know that im on that studying thing like every day. i took my ielts last october, but the score was just not really good. so i have to retake it. pretty sad, to cost 2,9 juta rupiah again, and to study more and more. more pressures on me right now.

hai you and all of your complicated things, i look at you and always think about you whether i dont have you on my eyes. you are just a piece of bullshit anyway, but im still into you. hate that anyway. never fell into someone like this before. talking to you is just a medicine, while im having an insomnia. and yeah i hate it . you are so bad boy, you dont like me either, but i care about you, a lot. so tiring. God, can i please be my old self? the one who weren't bothered about something called love. and you, can you please,  i dont know sometimes i want you to be disappeared, but i cant survive thou. dumb me. what im supposed to do ?

in the middle of my new routine, so many thoughts so many worries so many fears and so many hopes and prays and hard works also sacrifices tertiba merindukan masa masa otak ini gak perlu bekerja keras masa masa mudah cas cus sana sini sama mereka mereka yang juga mudah diajak berbagi rinduu~ sekarang yang kupikirkan hanya diri sendiri dan mencapai apa yang kumau ini walau kadang hati ini suka pedih tapi ditahan tahan aja sementara ini tak ada waktu untuk patah hati sesekali menyapa tak apa dua kali menyapa tak bahagia dan tak ada celah untuk yang tak berguna karena waktu seolah selalu terjaga sesungguhnya aku baru mulai tapi langkah terus menggontai kamu yang disana bersantai sesekali bolehlah menyapaku hai eh sudah sudah syah tak ada waktu untuk resah mari aku selesaikan.

helloo old friend. come back to tell you all the secrets huh? hehe now im facing a new phase of life, doesnt mean im already married lol. i got a chance to pursue my dreams, to go to the place i always dreamed about. i feels so close yet so thrilling. i still have a lot of things to do and to achieve. i was never this nervous before. cant let anything fail this but looks like myself who keep failing it. this is so exhausting. but i can not stop. i should run faster and fight harder. and tonight i find myself motivated , once again. i was never this ambitious before. but i should keep telling myself to go beyond my limit. it's difficult. but i promise myself that i can pass this phase. i should struggle to reach my own dreams. i should support myself. let's do this girl. i can face it, pass it, and finish it . even with no hi from you . and when the day comes, you are gonna beg me for having my-hi . naon sih syah, ah. bay. yuk belajar lagi .