we never know God's plans

I just experienced a sad day, on last friday. seeing my annoying best friend cried. He rarely cried and looked sad. but at the day, i saw his broken shape. Losing his dad is his most agony. And i couldnt hold my tears. it was a sad day. but we never know God's plans. He always prepares a good thing after a bad thing. Inna maal usri yusro. And I always believe it. And He knows what best to us. We are only His small creatures with a lot of emotions and weakness. I hope my friend can be stronger and bigger after this. 

I also experienced another sad day. When I saw my phone all day long waiting for someone to text me. But it never happened. He never cared what i was doing or whether i was waiting for his hello. I care a lot about someone whom never thought of me. I was dying to know what's up with him yet he didnt. heart broken. but we never know God's plans. Maybe he doesnt deserve me. maybe i will meet someone else better. or maybe this is just a test from God. I hope my heart can be stronger and bigger after this. 

Another experience was last night. When I met a group of friends. Some were fine and healthy, some were happy of being married etc. But there's someone who just got out of rehabilitation center. he found himself confuse and sad. but he completely solve his problems with returning all to God. Inna maal usri yusro. but we never know God's plans. And he said, "jodoh, rezeki, umur , semua udah ada yang ngatur. kita tinggal harus percaya dan berusaha" . this always been said anywhere and anytime. But since it was told by someone who's just finish his rehab and had so many problems before, i felt ashamed. Shame on me who always asks what's God Plans. Why cant i make such a happy living. Yet i realized there are so many unlucky people out there. And our problems are tinier than theirs. So why do I complain too much?

we never know God's plans. 

Let's be stronger and bigger ,

now. 

-26 may 2019

Aisyah-