i am not doing fine i am trying to be fine but life has not been easy or nice to me lately i miss my best friend and it seems they wont come to me so often i am home but my closest one does not welcome me most i am ignored and unrespected i hate myself even more lately i am left by my first love i miss him but he cant see me the same i love the wrong person and i hate the fact that people that i love most are the ones who hurt me most i want to find my happiness i distract myself with everything but it is still the same.  the pain the heartbroken and i hate that i cant be with someone i like someone who loves me the most a person who sacrifices a lot for me why God let us be separate, when i know he can be the best person to me the kindest above all person i know but why is it so hard for us to be together.. i dont know if there is still another chance i dont know what kind of happiness which await for me in the future i hope there will be at least one happiness for me please...

Some people may say, loving someone is very easy. it is smooth and happy. it is butterflies everywhere. But no one ever taught us about heartbroken. Or about being forgotten or left, or about having unrequited love or forbidden love. No one ever told you that it could be really killing you. It could leave a big scar in your heart. You cant do anything about love, once you already fell for it, it sticks on you like ever. And yes, when it is unrequited or forbidden or cut, it could kill you slowly and the pain sometimes is unbearable.  However, now that I understand the feeling, yet i still try to heal from it. I do understand that it is not the love that we blame. It is us and our egos that we need to blame. And people had fun and happiness at the moments they were in love. Sometimes we just believe that we deserve every good things that we want. But actually, we just cant have everything. There are some lines that we cant cross. There are some limitations that we might not unders...

 ketika lagi mau mengeluh tentang hidup kamu kamu harusnya lihat lagi apa yang sudah kamu miliki sampai hari ini lihat sekeliling kamu dan begitu banyak orang orang yang menyayangi kamu lihat gelar gelar atau prestasi yang mungkin sudah kamu miliki lihat harta yang mungkin menurut kamu tidak seberapa, tapi masih banyak orang diluar sana yang bahkan tidak memiliki kesempatan yang sama jangankan hidup enak dan punya pekerjaan layak, untuk makan saja mereka mungkin tidak bisa jangankan untuk mengenyam bangku pendidian sampai sarjana, membaca dan menulis saja mungkin mereka masih terbata sungguh, kadang kita selalu ingin yang lebih ingin selalu jadi yang terbaik dan mendapatkan yang terbaik,  iri pada keberhasilan atau kelancaran rejeki orang lain, padahal sebenarnya kita sendiri sudah memiliki begitu banyak hal dan tanpa kita sadari, kita bahkan memiliki lebih banyak dari yang orang orang lain miliki

ada begitu banyak bentuk cinta dan diantaranya adalah cinta yang tidak dapat dimiliki cinta yang sebegitu kuat dan kokoh yang tegar diterpa badai dan rintangan apapun nmun pada akhirnya tetap tidak bisa dimiliki pedihnya cinta itu padahal pun berbalas hanya saja, cinta tidak selamanya bisa menang dan tidak semua orang bisa memiliki cinta yang dia inginkan karena cinta juga memilih dan kadang harus tidak dipilih namun cinta selamanya akan tetap ada walau pada akhirnya cinta hanya bisa dijaga dalam hati terkadang dalam lantunan doa dan tangis kesendirian tak apa, karena ada satu cinta yang pasti bisa dimiliki cinta-Nya jika kamu percaya  

Finally I realise that not all of the promised can be fulfilled. Some of it should be let go. Because even the nicest person can do the most evil thing. Hoping that you would meet someone perfect is not possible. Everyone can make mistakes and sins. You cant see pure angels in this world. They are all problematic. They are all miserable at some points. So if you ever thought that 'oh this man is perfect' then you are all wrong. No one can be as perfect as angels.  However, there is always a way out for every problems or mistakes or sins in this world. This world is cruel yes, but God is beyond everything. So if you believe in God and his existence, im sure you will find peace in it. Because you know, that He will always forgive you. And i feel it now. I feel in peace. Although, problems and sins have come shaking my body and broken my bones into pieces, and tore my hearts apart, i am okay now. Because I know, after some time, that God will never leave me. Even after I did a lot...

no matter how big your love is or how much you miss a person, as long as they are not meant for you then you just need to hold those feelings within yourself. and let them go.  it is so painful.  really. unrequited love is the worst.

Kasih sayangmu membekas Redam kini sudah pijar istimewa Entah apa maksud dunia Tentang ujung cerita, kita tak bersama Semoga rindu ini menghilang Konon katanya waktu sembuhkan Akan adakah lagi yang sepertimu? (Tulus- Hati-hati di Jalan) ---------  terimakasih. aku hancur dan patah.  tapi semoga aku masih bisa mencinta yang sama menyayangi yang utuh dan dicintai sebaiknya lagi dihargai sepenuh hati.  tidak akan ada lagi yang sama atau mungkin kembali seperti semula tinggal hanya aku dan ribuan doa semoga kita dikuatkan.