hello blog im still in it. i know it is annoying and disgusting. but i keep trying thou. it is getting better and better. I dont feel like im really into it anymore thou. I dont know what people might think of me if they know how bad i am as a person sometimes. But we do mistakes, dont we? I really wanna live in peace. but i guess the time will come soon. Counting the days now, i guess. Then maybe I can be free. hahah or maybe im going to be broken once again. Losing is really hard. However i dont wanna live in this forever. I want my happiness, my truest one. I want to be my old self again.  Once again. People will always judge, wont they? BUT I DONT CARE.  I wish my feeling has been fixed since then and now, but it doesnt really do much progress. But i can handle it better now. I get used to it now. Hopefully everything gets better for me.  God, please protect me from the hurt. It is okay I have You, right? I love you God.