hey my best, first time i met you, id been insecure of your presence.  you knew the story wk. and i was so sorry hehe. Dulu aku gak tau kalau kamu tuh adalah salah satu orang terbaik yang ada di muka bumi hehe. oke next? As the time goes by, I knew he is different. Aku gak nyangka akan menemukan orang yang begitu peduli sama semua kebaikan dan keburukanku. Ya, itu kamu yang selalu ada buat negor kalau aku salah, muji aku kalau aku baik, ngedukung aku kalau aku butuh dukungan, dan marahin aku kalau aku ngelakuin hal yang aneh. Dan paling anehnya, kamu selalu ada, disitu. Disaat-saat aku bingung dan kehilangan arah. Nangis dan ataupun marah-marah.  You, and your charm Aku juga gapaham kenapa sering banget kita debat, masalah sepele ataupun serius. Perkara butuh dan gak butuh, perkara ingin pergi dan kembali, perkara jalan ataupun waktu, debat. Lalu kamu sering kali marah. Aku? sering kali nangis. Tapi, aneh. Kamu dan semua keegoisan kamu, selalu bisa bikin...

A best friend wont ever leave you. He/She loves you unconditionally.  Sometimes they just need a space. They need to build their own life.  And today one of mine is going to create his/her new chapter of life.  And I have never been this happy, happy for him/her.   Yet I know it is going to be more difficult since now.  But this is a sincerely happiness, cant be more grateful than today. Another one is my best friend. I thought he/she was one of mine.  Somehow he/she just made a joke of this friendship. Though it is not it is.  Yes I am so stupid, for keeping a hope to be one of his/her bests and still loving him/her unconditionally a best friend wont ever disturb his/her best friend's happiness so wont i then there will come a time to leave and i hope they are going to miss me somehow leaving doesnt mean separating it is just another way to say 'love'

yaa it is a must but sometimes i just need someone to rely on, someone to support, or at least say that i can do this and can go through all of this. everything feels so complicated right now. folks are facing some problems too. so i cant let them know my sorrow or my anxiety . yet it is so tiring to face it by myself thou and I still have to be oke wherever I am, show my  good spirit and performance at the office also haha. how can i be more stronger?

the pain is here it hurts but it will stop. time heals,  always. so hang on there it hurts but it is okay.

think i fall for him. but we met at the wrong time. know that I cant be his , vice versa yet he is the only one who can hold my hands now i know there will be time that I should let him go and the pain is already here, when we already knew but we pretend to be fine. it hurts but you can always leave with your own left me, the one who will survive more so let's stop holding my hands and just walk on our own paths just stop. Nanti Kita Cerita Tentang Hari Ini -  Marchella FP

hai, it's me, back again. after a long time.  id been through a lot bad times: struggling with my ielts score and my heart broken.  anyway im writing this after just finished a plate full of shrimps, pete, and rice. haha. i am so full right now and a bit dizzy.  before i just did a practice test of ielts listening. just let you know that im on that studying thing like every day. i took my ielts last october, but the score was just not really good. so i have to retake it. pretty sad, to cost 2,9 juta rupiah again, and to study more and more. more pressures on me right now.

hai you and all of your complicated things, i look at you and always think about you whether i dont have you on my eyes. you are just a piece of bullshit anyway, but im still into you. hate that anyway. never fell into someone like this before. talking to you is just a medicine, while im having an insomnia. and yeah i hate it . you are so bad boy, you dont like me either, but i care about you, a lot. so tiring. God, can i please be my old self? the one who weren't bothered about something called love. and you, can you please,  i dont know sometimes i want you to be disappeared, but i cant survive thou. dumb me. what im supposed to do ?