gue merasa dua bulan terakhir ini banyak belajar menjadi dewasa. menjadi dewasa karena gue harus melalui saat saat ini : saat gue harus menghabiskan senin sampai jumat buat kerja, melewati satu kali weekend dirumah bersama keluarga sebelum harus kembali ke perantauan lagi, kembali kerja di hari Senin pagi. saat gue merasakan mendapatkan transferan uang secara rutin ke rekening gue, dan merasakan mentransfer kembali uang di rekening gue ke rekening ibu, berfoya foya di awal bulan, dan makan warteg dan pop mi di akhir bulan. saat gue hanya punya waktu untuk ngobrol lewat chat line atau whatsap atau telegram dengan teman teman kuliah, saat menyocokkan jadwal ketemuan jadi super susah, saat cuma bisa nahan kangen karokean dan ketawa tawa dengan bikin puisi atau dengerin lagu lagu, atau bukain gallery foto di laptop. saat gue cuma bisa sibuk bacain timeline path fb instagram atau line cuma biar tau update kabar temen temen, kabar kampus , kabar organisasi yang dulu diperjuang...

When the days are cold And the cards all fold And the saints we see Are all made of gold When your dreams all fail And the ones we hail Are the worst of all And the blood’s run stale I wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you But with the beast inside There’s nowhere we can hide No matter what we breed We still are made of greed This is my kingdom come This is my kingdom come When you feel my heat Look into my eyes It’s where my demons hide It’s where my demons hide Don’t get too close It’s dark inside It’s where my demons hide It’s where my demons hide   -demons, Imagine Dragon-   dont get too close. you can see my demons.

do they miss me ?  as much as I do miss them just like all of my cheesy poems..  just  hope that they read this

well. watching movies or series (on laptop) is one of my killing time things to do right now (means : hal hal untuk menghabiskan waktu). It is because I am stucked in a small city named Tasikmalaya, with no kind of transportations which are available to ride (except angkot that we cant really understand how the route is), and with only 12 people whom can hang out with, and with not that much money to spend out. Yeah I am still a training in a big company so dont you ever wish I could treat you as good as a new employee. I am not ready yet for that thing haha .  oke, So I prefer staying at home on weekend while watching any kind of movies, in my laptop. I watched many movies and many dramas lately. I'd never been watching many movies like this when I went to college. I always ran out of time, but now, dont know how but I just need to kill the time.  oke I dont wanna talk about my spare time which is being soo much lately, especially on weekend. But I wanna talk about ...

bagaimana mungkin aku jatuh pada sebuah prahara melelahkan yang tiada hujan yang dapat menghapus jejaknya. selepas lalu berharap saja aku dapat beranjak dari kesunyian lelah yang singgah. bagaimana mungkin aku bangkit dari ruang sesak pengap ketika arteri dialirkan rindu. perkara ini tiada henti tanpa ada yang kau sebut temu pada satu waktu. bicaralah kamu pada senjaku yang kan berakhir lagi, bagaimana mungkin aku masih harus menunggu?